My Buddy

16Oct08

My childhood cat died last night, and I found out this morning.  I’ve never really considered myself an animal lover.  I don’t hate animals, and I like playing with them but I’ve never really had the urge to have one of my own.  They are so much work and time and money…  But this cat felt more like a part of the family, almost a sibling, I was so young when we got him.  I don’t usually cry very often and I was bawling when I was told. 

What’s worse is I know my mom’s really sad.  The cat would often follow her around when she was home.  Especially as he got older, all he wanted was attention, which is a little abnormal for a cat, i know.  He became almost annoyingly friendly.  When I was home after surgery, he was either on me or next to me for most of the days I spent on the couch. 

I don’t think I quite understand the death thing yet.  Not that I ever will, but I suppose you must have to come to terms with it at some point, because you know more and more people who die, well, people and animals.  You must at least find a way of dealing with it, accepting it, moving on.  It seems everytime someone dies I feel lost and have to start over again. 

I’ll be going home in a week and a half and I know my house will feel so empty.  I think its the emptiness that hurts most.

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